Thursday, October 9, 2014

My Thoughts, Opinions, Emotions, and Privacy


Day 9, last day of the blogger life.

This is a blog that I started for myself. Something private and personal for myself. My emotions, my personal experiences, and opinions are written down here myself.

A few hours ago, a friend messaged me and gave me a rant of her own. Why? Because she found this blog when I clearly remember telling her not too. She read a part about herself where I said she had shitty taste in music. Keep in mind, on a blog of MY thoughts and feelings. I had posted that about a week ago.

I just write whatever to get shit out of my head. This is where I just post whatever I wanted. My feelings and opinions on things. This blog is basically my diary. Some things I wrote here,
I told NOBODY. Not my friends. Not my parents. No one.

It is 4 am in the morning right now. She messaged me around ten. I couldn't sleep because of the thought in the back of my mind was messing with me. I told you not to find this blog. This is my fucking blog. When I tell you not to look for it, just don't. You need to respect my fucking privacy.

The things I post here help relieve my stress. This is a place just to express my inner thoughts and not bother anyone about it. I am so hurt to find one of my best friends who decided to find my blog when I fucking told her not too.

My page views increased by 50 in the past few hours, so I know someone has been checking on the account.

After a few weeks into blogging, I enjoyed it. It's nice and relaxing to just have my thoughts being written out. But I'm afraid I must take down this blog now since my privacy has now been invaded by my friend.

Honestly, I don't know what is going to happen. She may tell people things about my blog. She might not. I don't know anymore.

I love this blog. It's my journal. My diary. An area to just write anything. After this whole thing, I feel I'm not going to blog anymore. After she found this blog, how can I trust the ones I love now? I can't exactly trust my friends. And obviously I cannot tell any of my family members things in this blog.

This is the part where I write what I feel now.

I feel embarrassed. I feel angry. I feel ashamed. I feel sad obviously.

I feel embarrassed that a friend found my hopes and unrealistic expectations that I want in the future.

I feel angry that she did not respect my own privacy. Friends are suppose to respect each other's privacy. Even Ashley knows that.

I feel ashamed because she found out about a few of my experiences that nobody should know.

I feel sad that I can't trust her right now.

I can't sleep knowing someone that I know personally is out there who discovered the private blog. I am so tired. I'm so fucking tired. I just want to sleep but I can't.

I dont know what you tried to accomplish V by finding this blog. My thoughts and opinions of your music taste was never spoken to anyone that I know or you know. During that time I was just annoyed and wrote whatever I thought down.

So happy now. You know what has happened to me. You know how I feel. You read my diary.

I don't think I'm gonna eat pizza anymore

Ev out

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